July 21stvia and source with 2,467 notes


Rule of threes, Felix. Next time Tucker throws you a grenade, it’s going to hurt.

July 21stvia and source with 1,177 notes




a bubble freezing at -10º F degrees


degrees fahrenheit degrees

July 21stvia and source with 762,462 notes

Toothless sneezing \(≧ω≦*).

July 21stvia and source with 38,832 notes
me: my arm hurts
mom: it's the computer
me: my eyes hurt
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a nosebleed
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a fever
mom: are you sure it's not the heat from the computer
me: im pregnant
mom: it's the computer
me: i fell down the stairs & hurt my tailbone
mom: the computer pushed you didnt it

July 21stvia and with 244,723 notes


"That’s the worst Batman cosplay I’ve seen in my life!"

"BATman? Well that explains it"


"Why he looks like he dressed in the dark!"


July 21stvia and source with 71,963 notes


The head of a company survived 9/11 because
His son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn’t go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.

One of them
Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.

Car wouldn’t start.

One couldn’t
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work but before.
He got there, he developed a blister on his foot.
He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am
Stuck in traffic,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone…
All the little things that annoy me,
I think to myself,

This is exactly where
I’m meant to be
At this very moment


—(via padfout)

July 21stvia and source with 391,054 notes

Title: Mr. Brightside
Artist: Vitamin String Quartet
Played: 65307 times

July 20thvia and source with 11,441 notes


the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.

July 20thvia and source with 78,715 notes